Today, we are going to talk about the single most dangerous adversary standing in your way when trying to get someone to take action. Strangely enough, we ALL forget this basic principle and then wonder why things are not going the way we want them to. All the details and more in this podcast.
We're going to talk about resistance. So when I say resistance, what do I mean?
I mean, when you're trying to get someone to do something they don't want to do. Right. So you have your agenda. You want things to go your way. And you're just basically trying to get people to do what you want. And in this case, the only thing you're going to meet is resistance. Okay.
Because you've got to understand, everybody has their own agenda. Your agenda is good for you but is not necessarily good for everybody. Okay. So in order to illustrate this, I'm going to tell you a story. It's the story from my past that will illustrate what I mean by resistance.
So when I was 16 and I was in high school. And so before that when I was when I was younger I was very good at sports. So I've done pretty much every sport. You know, team sport they can do. And I was doing track and field as well. I was selected for the Nationals for hundred meters, 250 meters, high jumping and long jumping. It was pretty cool. It was a good experience.
And the main reason why I was doing this is because on Wednesday afternoons in the school where I was, you had to stay in school unless you were doing sports, which meant that you could leave school and you will go to sports. So to be honest, one of my main motivations wasn't that I was super passionate about track and field stuff, just that I didn't want to be in school, you know?
So what happened afterwards was that a like a year later, they introduced basketball. And at that point it was still on Wednesday afternoon. But now I got to be out of the out of the compound of the school. But actually doing something I love doing. Right, because I love basketball. Right.
So I signed up for the basketball team and we were doing really, really great. So basically, we were beating every single team and stuff and we were qualified for the super-regional finals. So basically, if you win this, then you go to the Nationals.
But the coach of the track and field team had his dream. So that's why I was saying before, you have your agenda and you just want people to ride along with it. So he had his agenda. And I think he had his dream in life. His goal was to win that championship. So he really wanted to win that and he wanted me in that team.
He was like, “dude, I need you in the track and field team, because with you, we're sure that we're going to win this thing”. And I was like, “no, dude, sorry. I’m in, the basketball team, I'm not interested”.
He was my sports teacher as well. So then things got really ugly. He went to the headmaster and said “Martin doesn't want to be in the track and field team. We need him because without him, we can't win”. So the dude calls me in his office. And he starts blackmailing me. He's like, “oh, well, you know, you're your fine arts class?” I was studying like arts, not because I wanted to.
I was avoiding some other stuff that I didn't want to do. And that was the only option. The teacher hated me. I hated her. She hated me. I couldn't draw anything. I sucked and I didn't study anything either. And the headmaster said “after every single class, she comes to me and she wants you in detention. And I’ve always protected you because of your sports. But now, if you don't go to track and field, then I'm not going to protect you anymore”.
This is the fiercest, most dangerous adversary in your way…
I was like “I am not going anywhere. You know, that doesn't matter if you if you threaten me or something”. He also said “In addition, I have the power to write anything on a on a sheet of paper and get you expelled from the school. But, you know, if you go to the track and field and you make the school proud, then I'm not going to do it”. And I replied “No, it's not going to happen, man. You can do whatever you want”.
Then the headmaster decided to forfeit a really important basketball game of ours, and we were out of the race. Can you believe it?
Right. So then that sports teacher comes to me and said “basketball is finished now you're free. Come to track and field”. And I was like, “dude, that was the worst thing you could have done. It's never. Going to happen”. And I always had good grades in sports. So I ended up with like an F or something, you know, in sports because he was like, “yeah, you're going to pay for this and stuff.
You're going to other bad grades”. “I was like, dude, I don't care. Right. I am not going anywhere”. So he gave me an F, which, you know, kind of sucked. But, you know, I was just too strong. Right. I don't like it when people are trying to force me to do stuff. Okay.
But here's the thing. You have your own agenda. Right. You think, oh, this is good and this is good. And you're trying to force people's hand and basically get them to do something they don't want to do. Right. So the only thing you're going to meet is resistance.
You need people to change their minds by themselves. So you need to change the way they think before you get them to understand it's worth it. And it's for them. Okay. So only at that point you will get people to take an action. Right. You need to tell people. This is the day when you buy something.
You have to identify what's in it for them. And if there is something in it for them and they realize it by themselves, then they're going to use your product to do whatever you want or whatever. If it matches, whatever they want to do. Otherwise, the only thing you're going to get is resistance.