FBC – 421 – How to overcome self doubt and lack of self-confidence

How to overcome self doubt and lack of self-confidence.

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Are you suffering from self-confidence problems?

Do you think that you are not good enough and that it's not even worth trying?

If you do, please understand that you are not alone in this struggle.

Billions of people suffer from the same plaguing internal struggle throughout the world.

But where does this come from? How is it that some people are very confident and seem to succeed in everything when you keep failing.

All this can be traced back to one single root cause that we are going to talk about (and eradicate) in this episode.

The purpose of this episode is to liberate you from that burden and finally allow you to achieve great things

Make sure to tune in to today's episode

,

Here is one of my favorite quotes:

“Never wish life were easier, wish that you were better.”
-Jim Rohn

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Self-doubt does not go away. You build around it.

If you are waiting to feel confident before you start, you will wait forever. I have coached 2,000+ people in 49 countries and the ones who win are not the ones without doubt. They are the ones who stopped negotiating with it. Self-belief is not a feeling you summon before the work, it is a residue the work leaves behind. You act first, the proof accumulates, and the doubt gets quieter because the evidence gets louder.

My practical trick is to remove willpower from the equation entirely. I build systems so the next step happens whether I feel ready or not, the same way my automations run whether or not I am awake in Bali. When the machine does the doing, doubt loses its grip on the deciding. Harvard Business Review has long argued that small, repeated wins rebuild confidence faster than pep talks, and Stripe Atlas is a reminder that most founders start scared and figure it out anyway. I go deeper on this in my Substack and The Diary of a Virtual CEO. Do not wait for belief. Build the evidence.

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There was this computer that was configured to grade kids in in school. In the elementary or something like that or maybe middle school or something. And so this this computer was supposed to kind of like tell them if they were smart or if they were dumb, OK, which hopefully it didn't say dumb.

And what happened was that the computer was programmed to basically grade all the answers, build the profile and then tell the kid if they were smart or not. But here's the problem.

The computer wasn't calibrated correctly. There was a bug in the system and everything was pretty much backwards. So instead of telling the smart kids that they were smart, then it was telling those smart kids that they were dumb.

And so the kids were using the computer and nobody actually knew that there was a bug. The situation actually went on for a good five months, without anybody noticing because the kids were either keeping it to themselves or something.

After five months, the school realized the problem. What they decided to do was actually very interesting.

So they decided that they wouldn't go and change anything and basically made it public. We made a mistake. And I think it was it was very smart of them. I don't think I would have thought about it. I don't know who came up with it, but these guys did.

And so they decided that they were going to actually test the kids now after those five months without actually telling them anything.  And so what they noticed was that the kids who were smart before the bug started scoring considerably lower, and the kids who are supposed to be dumb before, started scoring significantly higher than before the problem happened.

How to overcome self doubt and lack of self-confidence

So what does that tell you? So it basically  tells you that if people reinforce the fact that you're dumb or that you're smart or something like this, it will have a really huge impact on the actual outcome.

So that's what the story tells you, that they had the same potential. It's just that in their mind, their belief was that either they were great or they sucked. And just based on that, it had a significant impact on how they scored in IQ.

So I was following this topic by Tony Robbins and he was explaining a concept. You have the potential. You have the efforts. You have the result. So here's what happens if everybody keeps telling you that you're an idiot and that you'll never equate to anything.

You have your potential. But, you're like, dude, what the hell would I actually bother? Because anyway, I'm an idiot. It's not going to work. So what happens is that you won't go and tap into your full potential. And then as a result, then you are not going to put all the efforts, OK, because you're like, you know, what's the point?

It’s a vicious cycle.

OK, so the kind of like the moral of the story here is, first of all, this is something that you are going you're going through as well. Everybody is going through that because everybody gets some external influence from other people, telling them how great they are or how much they suck. OK, so you have this as well in your family.

What is your position in the family? Are you the smart cookie who succeeds in everything? Or are you the black sheep of the family who cannot be trusted?

But it's very common that there is someone in the family that nobody trusts and that kind of stuff. And this experiment here demonstrates the impact that it can have.

OK, so today you may have some belief that you suck, that you’re cursed or something like this. Maybe because when you were growing up, this is the message that was sent to you and you basically accepted this and then you didn't tap into your potential and put in the effort and all that kind of stuff.

And basically, if you take the time today to do some self-introspection. The person you are today is basically the aggregate and the result of everything you've been through.

And today you might have this conviction that you suck and it's actually not true. It's just that it's been reinforced to you. So take the time today to start thinking.

This example shows me that with the right attitude and the right encouragement, I can actually tap into my potential.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you overcome self doubt before you start?

You do not. If you wait to feel confident before starting, you wait forever. You act first, the proof accumulates, and the doubt gets quieter because the evidence gets louder.

Is confidence a feeling you summon on demand?

No. Self belief is not something you generate before the work, it is the residue the work leaves behind.

What if my willpower is not strong enough on the bad days?

Then remove willpower from the equation. Build systems so the next step happens whether you feel ready or not, the same way an automation runs whether or not you are awake.

Do successful people simply have no self doubt?

No. Across 2,000+ people coached in 49 countries, the ones who win are not the ones without doubt, they are the ones who stopped negotiating with it.

Related Reading

• FBC – 8 – The Weirdest Challenge To Boost Your Confidence
• FBC – 10 – A Key Difference Between “Winners” And The Rest
• FBC – 12 – This Is Where It All Started For Me.
• FBC – 13 – Do You Have What It Takes? You’ll Be Suprised..