FBC – 439 – Are you a complete failure? Answer inside

Are you a complete failure?

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Are you comparing yourself to people who have achieved far more than you?

Does it make you feel like a failure and causes you to lose confidence in yourself?

Unfortunately, far too many people suffer from these negative thoughts and it ruins their lives.

But what if there was a simple way to change that? A simple way to reverse the curse and help you feel good about yourself?

This is what we are going to explore in this podcast episode (and more)

—

Here is one of my favorite quotes:

“I never took a day off in my twenties. Not one.”
, Bill Gates, co-founder Microsoft

[Full Disclosure: As an affiliate, I receive compensation if you purchase through my affiliate link.]

Martin Ebongue

Online Entrepreneur & free spirit:

Proud Owner Of The 50K Emails A Day Done-For-You Software

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Your Podcast Host

International Speaker | Podcaster | Free Spirit

Freedom Is A Choice: So choose wisely...

Welcome to the Freedom By Choice Podcast with your one and only hoste Martin. This podcast is reserved for freedom aficionados and entrepreneurs looking to create the lifestyle of their dreams.

In this podcast you will find all the support and answers you need to start, grow and scale a business that gives you the freedom you deserve.

I have compressed years of trials and errors, into easy to consume episodes, to take you from where you are now, to where you want to be.

So what I wanted to talk to you about is a quote that I saw today, and I think it's a very beautiful quote. And it's symptomatic of something that everybody does. Right. I do it as well. And some people suffer more than others about it.

So the quote says, “I'm not where I want to be, but I'm proud that I'm not where I used to be”, OK? And this is so powerful. It is it is really powerful because, you know, so for example, right now I know a person who's really struggling with this notion of, well, I haven't accomplished anything in my life where I am.

And it's basically hurting that person really, really bad, you know, like the self-confidence and stuff like, oh, I suck. I haven't been able to do this. I haven't been able to do that, and that's one thing that I'm really trying to get this person to realize is that when you're climbing a mountain like three thousand meters high. So let's say you're halfway and you still have one point five thousand meters to go. It sucks.

You're bruised and battered, right. You're like, man, how am I going to get there? Right. Still one point five thousand meters. You look at it and then you're depressed. What if you did something, you just change your perspective for one second and instead of looking up, you just look down and you realize that, wow, you know what? I was at level zero before and now I'm at level one point five thousand, OK?

Are you a complete failure?

We're only looking at oh, my objective is three thousand. I failed. I suck. I'm just here. I'm just there. And then you're depressed. But, dude, do you know how much you've been able to accomplish by getting halfway there? It's a lot, right?

You used to be at level zero and now you're way higher. So changing this perspective will help you a lot in terms of a lot of the things that you have to do and a lot of the success that you have is also based on the motivation that you have. Right.

If you do have the motivation and the drive to go and do stuff, this is when you put in the action and then the actions will turn to results, then results will turn into certainty.

And so motivation is huge. And if you're always looking at the back side of things like I haven't done that. I'm still not there and stuff. Yeah. I mean, your motivation is obviously going to suffer from it.

Whereas if you're looking at it from the other perspective, like, oh, man, look at what I've been able to do. This is motivating you. So it is actually pushing you. You are not forcing yourself and finding some internal battle of, oh, should I keep going or not or something.

This thing is driving you. Look what I've been able to do. Let me do more. You know, and it's a very basic change of perspective and it's a very simple thing to do.

Why comparing yourself is a rigged game

You measure your progress against someone further ahead, feel like a failure, and quietly lose the confidence you need to keep going.

I did this for years. I would look at someone crushing it and use them as proof that I was behind, broken, not cut out for this. It never once made me work better. It just drained me. The comparison was rigged from the start because I was judging my messy middle against their polished result.

Here is what turned it around. I stopped comparing myself to other people and started comparing myself to who I was last year. That version of me had less skill, less proof, less nerve. Measured against him, I was clearly winning, and that fuel actually lasted.

You are not a failure because someone is ahead. You are just earlier in a different race. The only scoreboard that matters is your own trajectory.

The research agrees. Harvard Business Review has covered how social comparison erodes motivation and drive, and the HubSpot blog keeps showing that progress tracked against your own baseline is what sustains momentum.

I go deeper on this on the podcast and in my Substack essays. Run your own race, and check your own tape.

Frequently Asked Questions

Are you a complete failure if your business has not worked yet?

No. Failure is a verdict, not a current state. Most solopreneurs need 2 to 4 launches before one works. The data shows that founders who keep launching after 24 months without revenue cross the breakthrough threshold at significantly higher rates than those who stop. Persistence is the strongest predictor of success.

How do you tell the difference between persistent failure and a wrong path?

Look at trend lines, not snapshots. If 90 day rolling revenue, audience size, or skill level all show small upward trends, you are on the right path even if absolute numbers feel small. If three of these trend flat or down for six months, the path likely needs rethinking. Direction matters more than current altitude.

What should a solopreneur do after a painful failure?

Write a one-page debrief covering what worked, what did not, and what you would change. Then take 7 days off. Then start the next attempt with the lessons baked in. Solopreneurs who skip the debrief repeat the same mistakes. Solopreneurs who skip the rest break down within a quarter.

Can repeated failure actually be an advantage?

Yes. Each failed attempt teaches what marketing channel works for your audience, which offers convert, and which problems you are willing to solve for a decade. By the third or fourth try, most operators have unfair operational knowledge. The longer you stay in the game, the more this knowledge compounds.

Related Reading

• FBC , 8 , The Weirdest Challenge To Boost Your Confidence
• FBC , 10 , A Key Difference Between “Winners” And The Rest
• FBC , 12 , This Is Where It All Started For Me.
• FBC , 13 , Do You Have What It Takes? You’ll Be Suprised..