The secret about finding a mentor (2020 style).
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Should you or should you not look for a mentor to accelerate your success?
If you decide to look for a mentor, the next question is: where the hell would you find him or her right?
Well mentors can be found in the most unusual and unexpected places to be honest.
In this episode, we will cover some of those hidden places and a lot more.
Make sure to tune in
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Here is one of my favorite quotes:
“When I’m old and dying, I plan to look back on my life and say ‘wow, that was an adventure,’ not ‘wow, I sure felt safe.’”
, Tom Preston-Werner, co-founder Github
Martin Ebongue
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Freedom Is A Choice: So choose wisely…
Welcome to the Freedom By Choice Podcast with your one and only hoste Martin. This podcast is reserved for freedom aficionados and entrepreneurs looking to create the lifestyle of their dreams.
In this podcast you will find all the support and answers you need to start, grow and scale a business that gives you the freedom you deserve.
I have compressed years of trials and errors, into easy to consume episodes, to take you from where you are now, to where you want to be.
There are different schools in mentorship and stuff.
And if you listen to well, everybody and, you know, including me, I told you that having a mentor can be pretty good. You know, it is really good to have a mentor. And there are people who have different views.
I had mentors in my life but it wasn't a job title. I didn't go to them and say, oh, be my mentor, I'll pay you something, and then you're my mentor, and then you're going to do this. You're going to do that.
It's just people who are in my life at the time who taught me stuff, values and how things work and everything. But their job wasn't to be my mentor.
It's not necessarily just in business. A mentor can be someone who taught you something in life. And there are different facets of life. And my mentor was one of my colleagues, actually. His quote unquote job was to mentor me when I got in the company, also during my training period. And I just needed someone who had been there and knew the ropes a little bit to point me in the right direction.
And the other person who was a huge mentor for me is still in the same company, a manager that I had. So I had been there for a year or maybe a year and a half, I don't know. And she taught me so much. So her job wasn't to be my mentor, OK? Her job was my manager. She was managing the team and stuff.
But still, you know, for me, she was my mentor. And I'm pretty sure she doesn't know she was my mentor. OK, so I just wanted to point that out because, you know, when I use the term mentor, you might think that it's something very formal. This is not what I mean.
A mentor can be anybody. It could be your basketball coach. Someone who's just influencing you in life and in the right way. OK, you don't want a mentor that's going to drag you into some shady businesses and, you know, get you to end up in jail.
OK, so anyway, I think that it's nice to have some of these figures in your life because you can see other perspectives and learn stuff from them.
The secret about finding a mentor (2020 style)
Just to basically reiterate my point about mentors, because I don't think I actually explained it well last time, what I meant by mentor, because, you know, people think that it is again, there is something like super formal and there is someone who is like, yeah, I'm Bob's a mentor or I'm Susan’s mentor.
No, you can have someone who's a mentor to you. They don't actually know it. It's not their job. They're just teaching life just like you're teaching anybody. Or just interacting with you. And they can still be your mentor and show you stuff.
OK, so, you know, it's you know, I think it's it really helps, but not just in business. Again, this is very important for me, not just in business.
I have mentors now and, you know, probably they don't know, but they're my mentors. I have my friends, Claire and Richard and their daughter Katie. They're my mentors in kindness and caring about people and being a better person.
There are mentors because of who they are and their kindness and everything, you know, so they don't have to have a specific job title.
You know, for example, their daughter, Katie, she's younger than me. She's far younger than me. She's from a different generation. But still, she's my mentor because, you know, even though she's younger than me she's done so much and devoted her life to help others. That's what I meant by mentors.
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Frequently Asked Questions
How do you find a mentor in 2026 without paying for an expensive program?
Pick three people two steps ahead of you, study their work for thirty days, then send a specific question they have not answered publicly. Show evidence you implemented their previous advice. Quality questions earn quality answers. Most paid mentor programs underperform a focused free relationship built on real progress.
What makes a great mentor for an entrepreneur?
Someone who is two to five years ahead of you, has a track record in your specific niche, and is honest about their failures. Avoid celebrities. The best mentors are accessible, recently solved your current problem, and remember the steps clearly enough to teach them.
How do you approach a mentor cold without being annoying?
Send a short message that names a specific result they got, asks one focused question, and respects their time. Never ask for a call before any value has been exchanged. A good first message is under one hundred words. Reply rates double when you reference a recent post or talk.
How often should you check in with your mentor?
Once a month is usually right, with a written update covering wins, losses, and one focused question. Weekly check ins burn the relationship within months. Monthly cadence respects their time and forces you to make real progress between updates, which is the actual point of mentorship.
Your Mentor Does Not Have To Know You Exist
For years I waited for the perfect mentor to appear and take me under their wing, and while I waited I learned nothing. The secret nobody told me is that in this era you do not need permission or a formal relationship to be mentored. The people I learned the most from have never met me, they taught me through their content, their interviews, their mistakes laid out in public. Waiting to be chosen is just a comfortable way to avoid starting.
So build your mentorship from what is already in front of you, pick a few people who have done what you want, study how they think, and act on it relentlessly. When you can, pay for real access, but never let the lack of a formal mentor be your excuse. The teachers are everywhere, the students who apply are rare. I talk about who shaped how I think and how I learned from a distance on the Freedom by Choice podcast and in my own story. For the research, Harvard Business Review has covered how modern mentorship actually works, and McKinsey has studied how learning from others accelerates careers.
About the Author
Martin Ebongue is the host of the Freedom By Choice podcast and founder of Launch Builder Pro. With over 20 years of experience in digital marketing and business automation, Martin helps solopreneurs build systems that generate income without trading time for money. Based in Bali, he has built 1,500+ automation workflows for Fortune 500 brands including Coca-Cola, PepsiCo, and eBay, and trained 2,000+ students worldwide.
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