FBC – 497 – This is why depression follows them whereever they go

This is why depression follows them whereever they go.

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We all know this person who is always depressed regardless of where they are right?

They could be in paradise and still complain about stuff. Have you ever stopped and wondered why that is?

I see many of these people here in Bali and I came to the realization that it comes down to ONE simple thing.

Fixing this one thing solves all the problems but the challenge is obviously to pinpoint it in the first place.

If you are actually the type to be unhappy even on holiday, then this will be of great help to you (or your travel buddy).

There is nothing worse than going on holiday with someone who's NEVER happy haha.

So whatever happens, the content of this episode will come in handy

check out this picture: https://interactioninstitute.org/illustrating-equality-vs-equity/

Let me know in the comments, which one you would pick now that you know a bit more

,

Here is one of my favorite quotes:

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”
, Steve Jobs, Co-founder, CEO, Chairman Apple Inc.

[Full Disclosure: As an affiliate, I receive compensation if you purchase through my affiliate link.]

Martin Ebongue

Online Entrepreneur & free spirit:

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Your Podcast Host

International Speaker | Podcaster | Free Spirit

Freedom Is A Choice: So choose wisely…

Welcome to the Freedom By Choice Podcast with your one and only hoste Martin. This podcast is reserved for freedom aficionados and entrepreneurs looking to create the lifestyle of their dreams.

In this podcast you will find all the support and answers you need to start, grow and scale a business that gives you the freedom you deserve.

I have compressed years of trials and errors, into easy to consume episodes, to take you from where you are now, to where you want to be.

So today I was interviewed by a fellow marketer that I highly respect because he's a very, very smart guy. And yeah, it was very pleasant, actually. And there were a few things that we were discussing.

So one of them was, you know, he was asking me, you know, why you're living in Bali, why decided to change your life and all that kind of stuff. And, you know, some advice that I could give to anybody who wants to come to Bali.

And I basically gave him some advice on what to do when you're coming to Bali or if you're going anywhere else. OK, so it's not necessarily just for Bali. OK, so there is one thing that I think is the key to the success. I will say, even when you're going abroad, like in your life and I will say that it's the mind-set, right.

If you go with the right mind-set, then things will become a lot easier and a lot more pleasant because you can be in paradise and still moan. I know a lot of people, a lot of French people, for example, who are in paradise and they will freaking moan about everything.

So it's not the destination because people think, yeah, once I go there, I'll be happy, blah, blah, blah. No, no, it's not the destination. The destination doesn't actually change anything. If you take that negative mind-set with you over there, then it's going to suck and it's going to suck for whoever is in your vicinity.

This is why depression follows them whereever they go

What do I mean by this? So I see a lot of people, you know, french people, and there are other people basically going to a foreign country and comparing everything to their country.

We don't do this in France. Uh, we eat this in France. Oh, there's not this. There's this in France and blah, blah, blah. It's better in France and we do it differently in France and stuff, you know, and that's all they do.

I've seen people here. They're miserable. They're always moaning about something, OK, and so where does that come from? So how does this thing work?

If you ask me, it's just one thing that you need to change, OK? And you need to understand. So the same way that there are many different people on this planet and stuff and the same way that there are many different types of companies, there are many ways of doing things.

People, for whatever reason, just assume that the way things are done in their country is the right way, first of all, and it's the only way on the planet. And it's really not the case because what you do in your country wasn't done overnight, it's historical, right, it's the result of hundreds, if not thousands of years of customs and policies and stuff that have been put in place.

They have their different customs. And, you know, Europeans, they just tend to believe that whatever system they use, then everybody needs to use it. And if you don't, then you're just a freaking idiot.

So you know what? Let me try to understand what's behind this. OK, now here's the secret.

You don't necessarily have to agree with everything. I what I am asking you is to try to understand where they're coming from, OK, because there is a reason, you know, people just assume, oh, people here in Indonesia are idiots. I hear that sometimes.

And I'm like, look, I mean, there is no way that these things that have been done here are done by accident by two hundred and sixty seven million people. Nothing is done by accident. There is a reason why it's done.

So try to figure out the reason why, and then maybe you will realize that, oh, you know what? It actually makes sense, even though it's not something that's counterintuitive for you because this is not the system or the thing that you will do.

And, you know, if you don't take the time, if you come with a mind-set like a broken mind-set of I'm right, you guys are idiots and you should do everything I do, then you are going to have a hard time regardless where you are.

It doesn't matter if it's in paradise, if you're in Siberia breaking stones in minus 50 degrees or if you're on Bora Bora sipping cocktails, it doesn't matter. You will still moan if you don't have the right mind-set.

OK, so that's you know, it is key for me, for you as a person when you're living abroad, it will change your experience because otherwise, trust me, you are just going to moan all the time, all the freaking time.

Key Takeaways

You cannot outrun your own mindset. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you.

Geographic change is not personal change. New cities do not fix old patterns of thinking.

Lasting happiness comes from internal work, not from booking another flight.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why does depression follow some people no matter where they go?

Because the problem is internal, not external. Changing cities, jobs, or relationships does not fix unresolved mindset issues. The same patterns of thinking and behavior travel with you.

Can moving to a new country actually make you happier?

Only temporarily. The novelty wears off in 3 to 6 months. Without inner work, you end up bringing your old habits, fears, and self-talk to the new location.

What is the real fix for chronic unhappiness?

Self-awareness, mindset work, and addressing the limiting beliefs that drive your daily choices. External changes amplify what is already inside you.

How do you know if your unhappiness is internal or situational?

If you have moved or restarted multiple times and the feeling returns within months, it is internal. Situational unhappiness resolves once you remove the trigger.

Related Reading

• FBC , 4 Part 1 , This is the story of my life: Success, Failure and The Hurdles.
• FBC , 3 , Escape your life of sacrifice! Don't settle for less than your dream lifestyle.
• FBC , 8 , The Weirdest Challenge To Boost Your Confidence
• Other really cool tips that will give you an unfair advantage

You Cannot Outrun An Inside Problem By Changing The Outside

I see it constantly out here in Bali: people who are unhappy in paradise, complaining in the exact place everyone else calls a dream. This episode lands on one uncomfortable realization, and I stand by it. A new country does not fix an internal problem, it just gives it a nicer backdrop. I have met people who moved across the world to escape themselves and were miserable within a month, because the one thing they never packed was the willingness to look inward.

Sort the inside first, and the location becomes a bonus instead of a bandage. I talk honestly about the mental side of the freedom lifestyle, including the parts nobody posts, on the Freedom by Choice podcast and in my own story. If you want the research, Harvard Business Review has written extensively on how wellbeing tracks internal habits far more than circumstances, and McKinsey has covered how remote freedom only works with real self-management behind it.