Want To Know Who You Really Are? Then Do This.
Today we are going to talk about the best way to find out who you really are and what you really want. This is a crucial step in building the dream lifestyle for yourself and you should definitely listen to this episode.
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Join for $9 →I wanted to talk to you about something today that is based on the feedback that I got from the previous episodes.
So in a previous episode I talked about the different masks that we all have. You know that we all wear masks and stuff depending on the situation, which is true. So some people may be like oh man you're fake because you're wearing a mask and all that stuff, but everybody's wearing mask depending on the situation. You have a different facet of your personality that will come out OK.
That's how we're wired because you know humans are like social creatures right. We can’t live by ourselves. So you know it is possible to live by yourself, like you're not going to collapse and die if you're by yourself. But we organize in societies and we had to adapt to one another and be able to communicate and share stuff with other people. So we developed this ability to adapt to your audience.
So the comments that I got. Some of them were very interesting and I wanted to shoot a very quick podcast on it. So I got feedback from someone who told me that indeed we all wear masks and everything but I'm struggling to know which one of these is my actual personality. Right. Which one of all these masks that I am wearing every day is the actual me? All right. I'd say it's a valid point.
You know who are you like really? Who are you? The way I find out who I am as a person is very simple. So I just have one test and this is a test that you can do for yourself. Who are you when nobody's watching? So the thing I told you that I'm normally very reserved.
But before I was very shy, you have the drawbacks but you have the advantages. You know when you're shy you have difficulties expressing yourself. But one thing you get good at is observing and listening, because you're basically looking for the perfect time to jump in and say something. So you basically have to observe it a little bit and listen. All right.
Want To Know Who You Really Are? Then Do This
So I remember the time I was young but just observing people. I found ways of observing very discreetly. So you should try this exercise one day. So just look at people and look at how they act when they think that nobody is watching. All right so you have this person.
This person is acting in a way because nobody is watching and the minute they see that you're watching they change. You know even the posture. Right. So the posture though they'll get like the back will become straighter, bump the chest or lift their head or something. You can see a change in in the behaviour and stuff because that person realized oh you know what someone if somebody is watching.
So I find it fascinating and I think that the best way to figure out who you really are is to look at yourself when there is nobody around. What do you do? What kind of thoughts do you have? What do you what do you do with your spare time?
So there are great lessons to learn if you really want to know who you are. Just try to think about what you are doing when nobody is around and nobody is watching. And you can actually do that exercise that I was telling you about where you know don't be like a Peeping Tom or like super creepy and staring at people and stuff.
But you know just do this exercise, sit on the bench or something and yeah just look at people you know. When think that nobody is watching, this is when your true personality will come out.
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About the Author
Martin Ebongue is the founder of martinebongue.com, an online business and lifestyle design blog focused on helping aspiring entrepreneurs build location-independent businesses. Since 2014, he has been creating and scaling online ventures across multiple niches, from digital products and affiliate marketing to SaaS and content platforms, while traveling the world. He shares the real-world strategies, tools, and systems that work, with a particular focus on AI-powered automation for solopreneurs. Follow him on YouTube, X (Twitter), and Instagram.
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- FBC – 4 Part 1 – This is the story of my life: Success, Failure and The Hurdles.
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Frequently Asked Questions
How does running a business reveal who you really are?
Through the decisions made under pressure with no audience watching. How you respond to a customer complaint at 11 pm, how you handle a missed revenue month, how you treat a junior contractor when the deal is small. Those moments show your operating defaults more clearly than any personality test.
Why do entrepreneurs learn more about themselves than employees?
Because there is no manager to absorb the consequences. Every decision lands on the founder. The feedback loop between values and outcomes is direct, fast, and undeniable. Two years of running a business produces more honest self-knowledge than 10 years inside a structure that buffers the impact of your choices.
What questions help you understand yourself better as a founder?
What did I avoid doing this month and why? Which customer am I still angry at? What am I willing to refuse money for? Which version of myself is showing up in sales calls versus team meetings? Honest answers to those four questions outperform most founder coaching.
How do you use self-knowledge to build a better business?
Design the business around your actual operating profile, not the founder you wish you were. If you hate management, pick a model that scales without staff. If you hate sales calls, build inbound. Most strategic mistakes are mismatches between business model and personal wiring, not market or product errors.
Further reading
- Freedom by Choice Podcast: background interviews and freedom-business case studies on the Freedom by Choice Podcast.
- Martin's Substack: long-form essays on building a business that runs without you on Martin's Substack.
- Stripe Atlas Guide: founder fundamentals in the Stripe Atlas Guide.
- Entrepreneur.com: real-world solopreneur stories at Entrepreneur.com.
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