Dealing With Friends And Family Doubters in Business. One of the hardest things to overcome is the lack of support from family and friends. Today we are going to explore: Where it comes from, how to deal with it and how to change your mindset to push through when everybody else is doubting you.
So today I wanted to talk about something that I just came up with like five minutes ago. I'm so proud of it. I came up with this acronym and absolutely love it. Maybe I should like patent that. I don't know but I love it.
So I call it the CWL. And you'll understand what it is. So it has to do with the fact that when you decide to change your life and start a business, start a new activity, then you have to deal with your own doubts obviously but you have to deal with other people's doubts.
And you have to especially deal with your family. So that's a big one. You know because sometimes you can be like “You know what, if it's just me, I'll just go and try it”. But you don't want to go and disappoint your family.
I wanted to touch base on this because this is very important. I think it's limiting a lot of people and preventing them from actually trying anything and obviously we don't try this at work right. So I had to go through that as well. You know when you start telling people that “you know what? I'm going to quit my job and I'm going to start a business” and what happens?
Well the first letter of my acronym CWL comes into play. People will tell you “dude you're crazy” right. If you're that phase right now I'm pretty sure you heard “dude you crazy why would you ever do that?”
Well again I had to go through that stuff everybody was telling me “oh man this is crazy you shouldn't do that. You have a good job” because I did a good job right. “Why would you risk everything to go in a business venture? Stay where you are”. And I'm like if it is your job that's safe, then you're clinging to your boss.
Let's say you're working for a like a small business right. And while you have a job, you have a salary every month and stuff but that salary is dependent on The CEO of the company right. The boss. And when you look at the boss. How is that boss? How is that your boss's job is safer than my job as an entrepreneur?
I mean is there a reason why you think his job or her job is safer than my job? We're both entrepreneurs. Who does your boss work for? He doesn't work for anybody.
Same as me. I don't work for anybody. And somehow because you're an employee of that person and he has a company with 300 employees, you think your job is safer.
But secondly when you think about it your boss has a company. Let's say you have like 50 employees. Regardless if the company makes money or not you get paid. Or does your boss come to you and say you know what, May was pretty slow. I'm not going to pay you this month. It doesn't happen right. You'll be like “Dude pay me”. Which is something I don't have.
So when you think about it your boss has salaries he needs to pay. So the more employees you have, the more salaries you have to pay regardless if you're making money or not. Then you have offices that you lease, which have to be paid whether you make money or not. You have Social Security and then you a bank loan for example because you know a lot of the time you know people have a bank loan and stuff to start the business.
So that means if you look at it closely, that means that like two or three bad months and that's it, your boss is dead in two or three months. Is it me? You know what. Two or three bad months what do I do? I just buy white rice. I don't put sauce on it and that's it. You know I can survive. I can easily survive two or three bad months right.
But somehow your perception is that your boss's job is safer than mine. But on the contrary your boss is 10 times more vulnerable than I am. My business is flexible. I don't have that many overheads and I can survive even six to eight months of bad business.
So when you tell me that your boss's job is safer than mine. I'm like “Dude no I don't have one point seven million that I need to pay every month regardless if I make money or not. OK. So this is something you have to understand when people tell you your job is safe and stuff. You're clinging on to someone who is at far more risk than I am. I didn't borrow any money from anybody to start my business.
And one thing I hate as well is people who don't share their view of the world. So basically if someone is trying to tell you please don't go and start your business, that person becomes an enemy, even in a lot of motivational videos people will tell you that it's just because these people never equated to anything in their life. They never managed to do it. So they don't want you to do it, right?
Dealing With Friends And Family Doubters in Business
And this is the main motivation for people to tell you not to go and do it. Because they didn't have the skills and knowledge to do it and they want to drag you down. But I really don't agree with this because do you honestly think that your mom wants to drag you down? Honestly like she doesn't want to see you succeed? She wants to see you succeed. Same for your dad your brother your sister and stuff.
They don't want to drag you down. They want to see you succeed. So the only thing they're trying to do is to protect you. OK. So they're protecting you. The best way they can. You have to understand this because I saw so many people have you know heated arguments with their family and they're not talking anymore because oh you just want to ruin my life and you want me to move forward and blah blah blah.
No they're not trying to do that. I mean maybe some people like one in a hundred are trying to drag you down because they don't want you to leave whatever place you are right now and they want you to stay with them. But that's like it's a marginal percentage right. The other people who are telling you this they're trying to protect you because they love you like now the reason why they're telling you this is because that's the only thing they know.
We’re configured to avoid danger at any cost. Right? And that's what they're trying to do. They've never launched a business or anything. The only thing they know is the current system. So they they're basically telling you stay within the safety zone and don't go in to the uncharted territory.
So that was the “C”. I don't know if I made it clear so the “C” is for Crazy.
So that's step one of the CW out right after the crazy comes the “W”. So let's say you're like “Oh man I'm going to start my business” and people like “dude you’re crazy”. So you're that guy. “You know what? I'll do it anyway”. So you start working on this stuff and then you start working HARD.
It means that people ask “Oh dude you coming to the pub with us for a beer?” and you're like “No man I have to work on my stuff “. And you keep doing that because you have a purpose and you're trying to achieve something in your life and you understand that it takes time.
So you will work on you know whatever it is that you're doing and you will perfect your skills and learn and learn and learn and people will tell you afterwards. “Dude you're a workaholic”. So that's what the “W” is for. “Dude you are a workaholic”. OK. So you know and people will tell you “oh man take it easy”. Stuff which I do concur with the fact that you know in life you shouldn't be like working crazy in life.
That's not the purpose. But you might have to work like crazy in the beginning to a sprint so that afterwards you won’t have to do it for the rest of your life. OK so I will strongly encourage you to work as much as you can to achieve your goal. But do like sprints OK. You can do it for a few years and afterwards once you're more like an expert in stuff then you know you can relax and stuff. Once you're more comfortable. OK.
And being able to travel. And then you'll meet people tell you do you lucky. So that's what the “L” is for. You're lucky. And we already discussed the luck factor right. There is no such thing as luck in there. Because the same. It's funny how I'm fascinated by the fact that people kind of lose their memory of what they were telling you. Like a week ago right. They said “Dude you're crazy” because you are doing something completely insane. And then afterwards, you’re a workaholic………….
And then afterwards you became lucky! No! Remember what you told me. I studied something you dude. You were trying to dissuade me from doing. I worked my ass off to get here. I'm the lucky man? I am not lucky. You could do the same thing. You just don't want to do it right. You will go through once you have your first success and stuff and you start building that life that you want.
So yeah. So this is what you can expect in terms of chronologically what will happen. You’re crazy, then you’re a workaholic and then you’re lucky.
So I think the main thing you need to take away from this episode is that you will have to deal with your family right. And I don't want you to get in heated arguments with your family thinking that they're trying to bring you down or I want to sabotage you. I understand where you're coming from.
They're trying to protect you because you know they care about you OK, but they're trying to protect you. The only way they know how. Which is you know staying in the safe zone. OK. So respect where they're coming from. Don't get too emotional in a heated argument and still do your thing OK!
