FBC – 230 – Let’s tackle one of your biggest fears together

Let's tackle one of your biggest fears together.

Today, we are going to liberate you from one of the most limiting beliefs in your life. This is most definitely the first reason why most people never pursue their dreams or try new ventures that could dramatically change their lives.

Today, we are going to set you free and unleash your potential.

So one of the most common responses that I get from people who are not entrepreneurs, when you are telling them, okay, this is what I do and stuff is, you know, the fact that they are afraid of failing.

I'm like, well, you know, it can fail. It can succeed. But I try to look at things from the positive side. Like, what if it works? So we've already discussed this before where if you have this shift in your mind-set and instead of looking at the possible negative outcomes, you think about the positive outcomes.

So that's a good motivator for you to actually go and try things. One of the things that is stopping you from, you know, from trying new things and going towards the unknown is the very same thing that is keeping you safe and that's keeping you alive.

But in this specific case, when you need to start like a new venture or something. It can be a hurdle. OK. You just have to go over the hurdle. You just need to see it from the other side saying, well, we don't know what's behind that door. But I'm pretty sure that what's behind that door is absolutely awesome. And when I come back from there, I'll bring you something really, really cool.

Right. So there is one thing that only like a handful of people do, naturally. Right. And that’s finding the root cause of a problem. OK. Because the root cause is not visible and we only worry about what's visible.

Because that's the most obvious. And if you don't take the time to dig in a little bit deeper and try to figure out what's behind that, then you're only fighting a pointless battle with something that you can't solve. Right. Because you need to go to the source.

For example, money. What is money? People want money. People want a million dollars. I want this stuff. So why do people need that money? Do you think that's you? For example, you want more money, right? But what do you want to do with this money? Do you just want to lay down in bed with your money?

No. You don't care about the actual money to itself. It could be. And you don't actually care the form in which the money is presented to you. So you don't care if it's cash. You don't care if it's Bitcoin. You don't care if it's gold coins or silver coins or something. You don't care.

So the money itself is not what you're after. You're after something else. So when people want money it’s because there is something else that they want to achieve. So maybe they want to prove someone wrong or they want to spend more time with the kids. You want that red Ferrari or something, you don't want the red Ferrari per say. It's just a car. Right. What you want is the status that's associated with it.

So it's the same thing that we're going to do here with failure. When people fail and people are afraid to fail, they can't go past this fear, but I don't think it's the right approach. And I'm going to tell you why. So let me give you an example.

So let's say I asked you to put a basketball hoop in your garden or your backyard. And I tell you. Oh, okay. Try hitting a shot from the half court. Try to hit a three pointer. And if you do, then good things will happen. All right.

So I'll leave you there and you will go and try that three pointer. Right. And you will try maybe hundreds and it's not going to be a problem for you.

Now, same situation. But I will put 300 people to watch you while you do it. What will happen then? At that point, you will be afraid to fail. When you were by yourself in your backyard, it wasn't a problem.

But if you look at it objectively, in both cases, there were chances of you failing. It wasn't guaranteed that the ball was actually going to go in. Yeah, it's the exact same thing. The odds are exactly the same. So what's the difference now?

The difference is not that you're afraid to fail. The difference is that what people are going to think if you fail? That's the difference. This is the reason why by yourself you're going to try things.

But if there are people around, you're not. So now you understand that the problem is not being afraid to fail. The problem is being afraid of what you're going to look like if you fail.

So this is the real problem because we put too much emphasis on what other people think. And this has to stop because this is limiting you. So here's the thing. It's always a double edged sword. It's just like this WatchGuard that you have inside of you. This person is here to protect you. OK. And does a wonderful job of protecting you.

But there are other people who do their job admirably well. I mean, in most cases, it's your family and your friends. In most cases, they want what's best for you. OK. They're trying to help you have a good life or something. Your parents want to keep you safe. They don't want you to put yourself in any danger.

But here's the thing. Your family is basing their actions and their advice on their own experiences and their own fears. And they're projecting that onto you. So they're not doing that maliciously. They're trying to help.

So I suggest pay like a little bit of attention. But what matters is what you want to do. But right now it’s the other way round. You're listening to other people more than you listen to yourself. So in order to really solve your problem and not be afraid of failing, there are solutions. OK.

Let's tackle one of your biggest fears together

So one solution is to stop listening to people. Stop caring about what other people think. That's the best solution out there. But here is the thing. I have to be realistic. It's easier for some people, I guess, than for others.

It just requires training. So since I know that this option is hard, you need to start working on it because this is going to be very, very important for the rest of your life. So you need to start working on it right now.

But there is an easy fix for this problem that you have today, which is preventing you from studying maybe the next big thing on this planet. It could be inside of you. You might have an idea that can revolutionize communications or life in space or something. You could have that. But you're not trying because you're afraid of what people will think.

But instead, just operate in silence. You can do that, right? You don't tell people what you're up to. You don't tell them. That's it. This one's easy, right? You're working on something. Keep it for yourself.  If they're not aware that you're working on the new Tesla car, how would they know if you fail? They wouldn't know. Right.

So operate in silence. You start your own things. And don't tell them anything, not because they're here to sabotage you and stuff. But just that they might not understand what you're doing right now. And they may start projecting their fears onto you.

It’s difficult because these people are your parents or friends or are your brothers and sisters and stuff. Right. So for you, their opinion should matter more than anything. And you have to unlearn this. It's going to take time.

But if you do this, trust me, this is how you free yourself. You're going to come to experience a glimpse of what freedom is. You know, when you're free to do everything you want and you're not second guessing yourself and all that stuff, you’ll really go for it!!

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My name is Martin and I’m the creator of the MARTIN EBONGUE BLOG. Understanding how to create passive income, how to start businesses that run without me & how to make money online changed my existence. It allowed me to travel full-time, have ton of fun and live life on my own terms.
 

 

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