Want to sabotage your relationships & make enemies in business? Then do this..
Today, we are going to talk about a terrible habit that we all have and that pushes people away.
This is one of the biggest causes of arguments, disappointments and frustrations in most of relationships.
Understanding this and applying it in your life is radically going to change it.
All the details and more in this episode.
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This is a story of this math teacher. He was drawing 10 equations on the board and there is one that's completely wrong. All the other ones are fine. And what happens is that all the kids in the room started making fun of him, like, oh, you're an idiot and blah, blah, blah.
And he’s like, why are you guys laughing? And they're like, well, you're an idiot. The first equation is completely wrong. And he said, well, I actually did it on purpose because what I wanted to see was how many of you were going to make fun of me because I made one mistake, but nobody congratulated me because I got nine out of 10.
Stories like that bring some stuff that's actually very obvious, but until someone expresses it and voices it, you don't realize that you’re doing this. But this is what we are kind of programmed to do in society. We are programmed to start finding fault and blame people for stuff that they haven't done.
It's one of those things that I see and absolutely hate when people do that to me. I think it's really unfair because I will bend over backwards for people and you do everything you possibly can. But there's one thing they don't like. So it's not even that you've done something wrong. It's just their interpretation of something and sometimes it doesn't have anything to do with you.
Then they basically forget everything you've done and start blaming you for stuff. And that's something that just drives me mental. And everybody does that. I think I do it as well.
So when you have a run in with someone or you have a fall out with a friend or something like that, very often its one incident and that's it. I hate you and you forget everything that was there before.
Try not to. If next time you're tempted to do that, then think about it. Be rational about it. It's just one instance. Look at the big picture. Are these people there to hurt you or something like that? No, they're not there to hurt you. They've always been kind to you. Always been nice.
Now, there's one little thing and you forget about the whole thing, but, you know, that's in personal relationships. But also it will help you in your life business wise in two different ways.
Want to sabotage your relationships & make enemies in business? Then do this…
So the first way is, if you expect that from people, you know that this is going to happen. If you want to start a business, you're going to do something. If you want to do like a YouTube channel of this or that, blah, blah, blah, nobody's going to congratulate you when things are going great.
There's always going to be some idiot who is going to criticize you. So if you already expect it, you assimilate the fact that, well, this is what people do, it's not going to get to you. It's not going to affect you and you're not going to feel bad about it.
The other thing is that when you're collaborating with people and especially if you're managing people, please understand that it really goes a long way. Praise people when they do something good and not just bash them when they do something wrong.
That's one of the biggest mistakes that I see in companies is the lack of recognition that people have for their achievements. And then they will bash you when you've done something wrong.
What I like to do is if you did something really great, I want people to know what you did. Right. And I will send them like an email and stuff to management saying, well, this is an achievement. It's Bob who actually did it. And this is what it’s going to bring to the company to put them on the map. And thanking people for what they do is, you know, it goes a long way.
So that quote was very revealing for me. So I always try to congratulate people if they do something, it's not like, you know, faking it or something like this, I just think it's normal. All right.
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