FBC – 418 – Are you constantly being misjudged and misunderstood? Here’s why

Are you constantly being misjudged and misunderstood? Here's why.

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I wanted to talk to you about very important concepts that can make or break you. OK, and this is something that we all use and we all kind of like make decisions based on that and it's influencing you every single day.

Right. I have my really good friend of mine. Her name is Claire. So we've known each other for a very long time now. So the point is that she knows me very well, right? And one day I remember we were talking and she told me something.

So it made me laugh, but it was actually very revealing. She said, look, Martin, you are the most trustworthy and the nicest guy I know. But you are the least reassuring guy I know on the planet.

It was funny when she told me this, but actually it opens a lot of questions about the difference between who you are and the perception that people will have about you. She said, look, I will trust you with anything. But the thing is you don't look trustworthy.

So the thing is it’s a bit based on my life experience. There are some things that I have developed over time. Right. And some of the things that I've developed over time are kind of like keeping stuff to myself and not necessarily showing like too many emotions or something.

Now I'm getting better. OK, so here's how I think. So a certain percentage of the population could be like me or something. So if I'm with someone and the person tells me that they love me, well now in my head it is established that they love me. And I will keep that information until the day they tell me that they don't love me anymore. So I don't necessarily need to hear it again. But it's established.

So the problem is that if I'm with someone who's on the opposing end of the spectrum, who needs to hear that all the time, it can be very, very hard. And she was like, oh, sometimes I do stupid arguments with the girlfriend something. And she was, oh, you should have said this. She just wanted some reassurance.

Reassurance for what? That you love her. I said, well, I told her that two years ago. OK, and very often if you're in front of someone like me, you'd think that the person is cold and stuff. So here's what I have to say about this, I slowly but surely became a man of principles, very strict principles.

Are you constantly being misjudged and misunderstood? Here's why

And for me, the thing with the principle is that it’s not adopting the principle to suit me. It's a principle. It works in every case.

But anyway, this brings me to the question I was telling you before, is the difference between the perception and what you actually are.

So your product has a value. But it really doesn't matter to people what the actual value of the product is. What matters to them is the perceived value. If you've ever heard the term perceived value, this matters a hundred times more than the actual value.

So again, the same way it works with products, it works with people. People don't judge you on who you are really, because they don't actually know who you are. They will judge you on the perception, what they can basically get from you.

And this is exactly what she was telling me. She said, look, you're the most trustworthy, the nicest person I know, but you're the least reassuring person that I know. And it makes me sad because I think you're missing out on finding a good person and stuff just because of this. And she was very sad about it.

And so the same applies to you. People have a perception of you and different people have a different perception of you because of what they've seen from you and what you're actually projecting.

Sometimes it can actually serve you like when you were on Instagram, the perception that you have of these people, these influencers in their life and stuff is actually not the truth. So they will use that perception to basically get you to buy a product or to follow them or something like this.

So in that case, that perception that people have, it's also based on what you're doing and the image you're projecting.

But the fact that you have this gold watch and you're on Instagram and you're blah, blah, blah, and you are showing your influence in and stuff, well, is it actually the way to go?

OK, that might be the question that you just influence people's perception. So probably that's the way to go. But here's the thing. My thing is that the perception that people have will only influence their short term decision.

And then afterwards, what happens is that what actually matters and what dictates what's going to happen in the long run is the actual reality, but not the perception, but the reality.

So, yeah, I guess that's the message that I wanted to give to you guys for today. And Claire, if you're listening. Thank you for the advice and to help me realize this thing about perception.

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