Episode 568 – The Bitter Truth About Comparing Your Life To Others On Social Media
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🔥 Show Notes: How to Stop Being Envious and Start Being Happy 🔥
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In this eye-opening podcast episode, Martin Ebongué tackles a critical issue that's holding people back from true happiness and success: envy.
He shares valuable insights on why constantly comparing yourself to others and wishing for their seemingly perfect lives is a recipe for misery.
Discover how shifting your focus to your own journey can lead to a more fulfilling and productive life.
Some Topics We Discuss Include:
– Why social media is often a big fat lie and how it fuels envy [01:22]
– The hidden struggles and sacrifices behind the glamorous lives we see on Instagram [04:21]
– How wishing for someone else's life means taking on ALL aspects of it, not just the good parts [05:35]
– The surprising downsides of fame and fortune that most people don't consider [06:49]
– Why having a successful business doesn't guarantee happiness or an easy life [07:57]
– And much more…
Word Of Wisdom:
Please understand that you're only seeing a tiny little fraction. There is a good chance that someone would like to have your life because of a tiny little fraction of what they've seen. – Martin Ebongué [11:29]
Action Steps You Can Take Right Now:
1. Recognize that social media only shows a carefully curated snippet of someone's life, not the full picture. [01:22]
2. When you find yourself envying someone, consider ALL aspects of their life, not just the glamorous parts. [05:35]
3. Focus on your own journey and stay in your lane. Your life is the only one you have full control over. [14:17]
References & Resources Mentioned:
– The book about the Olympic rowing team and staying focused on your own "boat" [13:00]
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You can watch this episode in full on youtube here:
👉https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xq-lFxxvW0o
| What You See Online | What Is Actually Happening | Better Response |
|---|---|---|
| “Made $100K this month” | Revenue, not profit. Often 10-20% margin. | Study their system, ignore the number |
| “Quit my job in 30 days” | Usually had savings, a partner's income, or years of prep | Build your runway, then leap |
| “Working from the beach” | Staged photo. Real work happens at a desk. | Design your ideal workday, not a fantasy |
| “Fully automated business” | Still requires weekly maintenance and decisions | Aim for 80% automated, not 100% |
| “Overnight success” | 3-5 years of invisible work before the breakthrough | Focus on your 1-year plan, not their highlight reel |
Is Social Media Comparison Hurting Your Business?
1. Do you feel worse about your progress after scrolling social media?
That is a signal to unfollow or mute. Curate your feed for education, not envy.
2. Have you changed your strategy in the last 60 days because of someone else's results?
Shiny object syndrome kills more businesses than bad ideas. Commit to one strategy for 90 days before judging it.
3. Do you compare your year 1 to someone else's year 5?
Context matters. Ask how long they have been at it before comparing numbers. Most “overnight successes” are 3-5 years in the making.
4. Are you measuring your progress against your own benchmarks?
The only comparison that matters: are you better than you were 90 days ago? Track your own metrics weekly.
5. Do you consume more content than you create?
If yes, flip the ratio. Creation builds businesses. Consumption builds someone else's.
Is Your Social Media Mindset Working For You?
1. Do you spend more than 30 minutes per day scrolling other people's content without a purpose?
If yes, you are consuming instead of creating. Set a 15-minute daily cap for passive scrolling and redirect that time to building.
2. Have you compared your results to someone else's highlight reel in the last week?
If yes, remember: you are comparing your behind-the-scenes to their front stage. Unfollow accounts that trigger comparison.
3. Do you have a written 12-month plan for your own business or career?
If no, you are drifting. People who write goals are 42% more likely to achieve them. Write yours today.
4. Can you name 3 specific metrics that matter for YOUR growth right now?
If no, you are measuring nothing or measuring everything. Pick three numbers, track them weekly, ignore the rest.
5. Do you celebrate your own wins, even small ones?
If no, you are training your brain to only see gaps. Start a “done” list alongside your to-do list. It changes your psychology.
The Real Cost of Comparing Your Life to a Highlight Reel
Comparison is not a character flaw, it is a tax on your attention, and it is expensive. Every hour spent measuring your chapter one against someone else's chapter twenty is an hour not spent building. I have run businesses from 49 countries, and the people I watched stall were almost never short on talent. They were short on focus, because the feed kept telling them they were behind.
Here is what fixed it for me. I stopped consuming other people's outcomes and started documenting my own inputs. I share those real numbers, the wins and the ugly months, in my Substack, and I talk through the mindset shift in the Freedom by Choice podcast. Publishing your own process is the fastest cure for envying everyone else's.
The science is not subtle here. Harvard Business Review's research on wellbeing and focus keeps showing that social comparison drags both mood and output, while McKinsey's work on automation ROI on the future of work ties sustained performance to protecting attention, not chasing visibility. Close the app, open your own scoreboard, and measure this week against your last week only.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I stop comparing myself to other entrepreneurs online?
You do not stop completely. You redirect the energy. When you see someone's results, instead of feeling behind, ask: what system did they build to get that result? Study the process, not the outcome. I spent years comparing my results to others until I started reverse-engineering their systems instead. That shift changed everything.
Is social media bad for entrepreneurs?
Social media is a tool. Like any tool, it depends on how you use it. If you use it to consume and compare, it will drain you. If you use it to distribute content and build an audience, it will grow your business. I use social media almost entirely for distribution through automated systems, not for scrolling.
How do I deal with imposter syndrome as a business owner?
Action is the antidote. Imposter syndrome gets louder when you are thinking and quieter when you are doing. Ship something small today. Every completed project is evidence that you belong. I have trained 2,000+ students across 49 countries and I still feel it sometimes. The difference is I do the work anyway.
Why do some entrepreneurs succeed faster than others?
Speed of implementation. The entrepreneurs who grow fastest are not smarter. They execute faster and iterate more. They launch before it is perfect, learn from real feedback, and adjust weekly. I built my brand and automation empire by shipping first and optimizing second.
How do I stay motivated when progress feels slow?
Track leading indicators, not just results. Revenue is a lagging indicator. Content published, emails sent, leads generated, workflows built: these are leading indicators you can control. When you see these numbers growing weekly, motivation takes care of itself.
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Related Reading
- DOVC, #108, The Reality: How to Make Money Going Viral Overnight
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About the Author
Martin Ebongue is the host of the Freedom By Choice podcast and founder of Launch Builder Pro. With over 20 years of experience in digital marketing and business automation, Martin helps solopreneurs build systems that generate income without trading time for money. Based in Bali, he has built 1,500+ automation workflows for Fortune 500 brands including Coca-Cola, PepsiCo, and eBay, and trained 2,000+ students worldwide.
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