FBC – 312 – A Life Saving skill that you learn over time…

A Life Saving skill that you learn over time.

Today, I want to tell you about a virtue that we learn over time and that makes the difference between failure and excellence.

This is something we all have to go through in our life and that we need to identify and master.

Failure to do it will result in you never seeing your dreams come true.

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Today I wanted to talk to you about something that I had an illustration of today at basketball with the kids.

And it's the notion of that place you can stay calm and you can stay focused. And the virtue of patience, because I ran the survey recently on my audience and a lot of people said that they wanted to be able to learn patience, which I thought was really interesting. I was like, oh, you know what, that's very interesting but the kids are the perfect illustration because, you know, there is something called the curse of knowledge.

So it's usually some expert that tells you, man, it's easy, you just do this and stuff. But it seems kind of easy for them because they've done it like three million times. But they forgot how it was when they first started. Right. And this is something, you know, for me as well.

You learn patience with age. You know, it's one of those virtues that you will actually learn with age. You don't actually realize it when you're a teenager and people tell you to be patient and stuff like that, you can't understand. People say, well, you know what, when you're older, you learn the virtues of patience and stuff.

So at basketball today, one of the kids won the first time. So it's an elimination game where if you score before the person in front of you, that person is out and the last man or woman standing is the winner. And he won for the first time and he was so happy.

I was really happy for him because he actually never won before. So he went back in there, you know, hoping or anticipatory that he was going to win again, OK, which, you know, nothing is guaranteed. Right. So he went in there and actually got knocked out not too far from the end, but he didn't win.

I think that he was so thrilled from his last victory that he just thought he was going to win. And he became very, very frustrated about it. He almost started crying and stuff, you know, so I saw him like kicking the ball and going on the other side of the court.

That's one of those things that are very hard to teach a teenager, how to be like patient. I think I was pretty much the same when I was younger. I think we've all been there right where every single obstacle or setback seems like the end of the world. But it's just part of learning.

A Life Saving skill that you learn over time.

So there is a learning curve of life. It's you know, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. And when you lose, it's not the end of the world. It's just that you need to find another way. So something went wrong in there. Obviously, you just need to figure out what it was and make sure it doesn't happen again so that gradually, every time you're going to play, you're just going to get better and better and better.

This is what I do when I play ball, when I'm doing my drills and I'm shooting. So sometimes I'm shooting. I might hit like ten in a row something. And then afterwards, for whatever reason, there could be series where I like missed maybe three in a row. And before when I was younger, I would have gotten very frustrated. Whereas in this case what I do is:

All right, OK, so you just missed three. The reason why you missed it is probably because the arc wasn't good on it. So instead of shooting with instinct, I will actually shoot with a like an actual purpose, analysing all the details. So this time you just put more arc and then you have to follow through and then bam! And then it goes in and then afterwards I restart in a good rhythm.

OK, but this is something that I couldn't do when I was younger because I was way too emotional. And today this is what I saw in this kid. He was missing, he was being very, very annoyed and kicking the ball and stuff. And I was like, dude, slow down. It's nothing. You just missed the shot. But it's something that if you tell that to a teenager or something, it's I mean, for them it's a foreign concept.

You just learn with life that, you know what? Just take a deep breath, focus. Look at the small little details that when you're just shooting with the mechanic and stuff you forget about, you know, just break it down, focus on the details and it will work.

So why am I telling you this? Because it's the same thing with starting a business. It will happen that you'll have setbacks. It's just because there are some basics that you've done it so much that you're not thinking about it and you haven't done them properly. Go back to the basics and you'll see things will get better and understand that it's part of the process, right?

It is part of the process. Sometimes you will miss stuff, stuff won't work or you'll have a minor setback. And that teaches you one more way that this thing, whatever you're trying to do, doesn't work. OK, so just slow down, take deep breaths, take a break just for a second and then try again.

The Skill That Actually Saves You Is Patience, And Almost Nobody Builds It

The most valuable skill I ever developed is the least exciting one to talk about. It is patience, the kind that lets you keep going long after the motivation is gone and the results have not shown up yet. Nobody teaches it because it does not sell. Everyone wants the hack, the shortcut, the overnight version. But every real thing I have built took far longer than I wanted, and the only reason it worked is that I refused to quit in the boring middle where most people walk away. Patience is not passive waiting, it is active refusal to give up.

So stop measuring your progress in days and start measuring it in years. The people who win are rarely the most talented, they are the ones still standing when the impatient ones have moved on to the next shiny thing. I talk about surviving the slow middle on my Freedom by Choice podcast, and I share the long game mindset on my Substack. On why grit and consistency outperform raw talent, Harvard Business Review has the research, and the reskilling data from McKinsey Digital shows how long real skill actually takes to compound.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why is patience the most important skill for entrepreneurs to learn?

Because every meaningful business outcome takes longer than expected. Martin Ebongue ran an audience survey where patience came up as the single most requested virtue. Without it, founders quit during the slow middle months when traction is invisible but the foundations of long-term revenue are quietly being built.

What is the curse of knowledge and how does it sabotage new business owners?

The curse of knowledge is when experts forget how hard a skill felt when they first started. Martin warns that this distorts beginner expectations, because gurus make tasks sound easy after thousands of repetitions. Beginners then assume they are slow when their pace is actually normal.

How long does it usually take to develop patience as a working business virtue?

Years rather than weeks. Martin frames patience as a virtue that grows through age and repeated exposure to slow results, not through a single mindset exercise. The fastest path is to commit to one business project for at least twelve to twenty-four months without measuring outcomes weekly.

Why do beginners get frustrated faster than experienced entrepreneurs?

Because they overestimate short-term progress and underestimate long-term compounding. Martin sees this play out constantly with new audience members. Experienced founders know that the first ninety days look flat by design, so they stop comparing weekly numbers and focus on building a stable system instead.

About the Author

Martin Ebongue is the founder of martinebongue.com, an online business and lifestyle design blog focused on helping aspiring entrepreneurs build location-independent businesses. Since 2014, he has been creating and scaling online ventures across multiple niches, from digital products and affiliate marketing to SaaS and content platforms, while traveling the world. He shares the real-world strategies, tools, and systems that work, with a particular focus on AI-powered automation for solopreneurs. Follow him on YouTube, X (Twitter), and Instagram.

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