FBC – 383 – I have been guilty of this and I am ashamed

I have been guilty of this and I am ashamed.

Do you know one of the key elements that differentiate the high performers from the rest?

Why is it that some people always seem to come on top while others fail over and over again?

It comes down to one simple thing… And I have to publicly admit that I have been guilty of it…

Today I am going to reveal what that flaw in my life was, and more importantly, what I changed to become more successful.

Chances are that you are going through the same thing I was, so make sure to tune in to today's episode!

— Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/freedom-by-choice/support

I wanted to take you down memory lane and then actually give you the moral of the story, something that I realized over the years.

So when I was younger, I used to play tennis because my dad's a big fan of tennis. And so we had all the equipment and stuff. And there was one of my brothers that I could never beat. So I have two older brothers. They're way older than me.

He had more talent than me at playing tennis. And I remember that very often at like five zero, I used to fake an injury like a pulled a muscle or something and then start rolling on the floor. N ow that I realize it must have been some really, really bad acting, I'm pretty sure it was really bad.

But I, I was accustomed to doing that. I didn't like to lose and I didn't want to face it. And I was just trying this ridiculous display. I would like to be able to see this with my own eyes today. And it makes me laugh because I was watching a series today.

The series is called IT Crowd. And there is an episode where my main man, Douglas, is faking a heart attack. And this thing is hilarious because he's such a bad actor. Well, he's a good actor, right. Because in the series he's playing this guy who was such a terrible actor.

The reason why I was telling you this is because this is how I was when I was younger. I remember there was a situation where I was in the finals of a competition and there was this guy. I didn't know the guy could run, but he was way faster than I was. But I had to maintain the legend, right. I was the fastest in the school and I couldn't have people see that this guy will beat me and he would have beaten me, like, really bad.

And so, I just, ah, did the injury and then do the thing and go. Right. So it is something that I was doing when I was young. And well today it’s not the case anymore. And I was just thinking about this like, well you know, it wasn't necessarily what do you learn when you do this. Right.

So as you guys know, I'm a big fan of Roger Federer. I'm the biggest fan on the planet, and I hate Nadal. I don't like the guy. Or at least I hated the guy, but every time I record a podcast, every time I start working on, self-development and understanding, respecting people's craft, respecting people's efforts and looking into different areas of life, I realized that well, I have a lot of respect for Nadal, despite the fact that I don't like the guy.

He will never, ever throw in the towel. I've seen him in games where, you know, everybody else would have thrown in the towel ages ago. And very often when they're in trouble, you can see the body language change. You know, the shoulders go down and then they don't care. They lose the last couple of games. They don't even play. And then they shake hands. They go home, OK.

But Nadal, I have never seen someone like Nadal. This guy will play until the bitter end. It doesn't matter if he's losing five zero or something. He will play every single point. And I really respect the guy for it.

I have been guilty of this and I am ashamed.

Because I know that I was just taking the easy way out when I was younger. You know the story that I told you, when I pulled a muscle or something. That guy will never do that. He will fight until the bitter end.

And you know, as much as sometimes it's good to know when to stop fighting and stuff, you know, there are situations where if you fight until the bitter end, then there is a lot that you can gain out of it.

So, you know, we've talked about momentum in the in the last couple of a podcasts, but you can be down, like, really bad and then you don't give up. You go for it and then the momentum changes and then boom, next thing you know, you end up on top.

And that momentum changed. Because you didn't give up OK? So and also it will build other things, and that's my experience. You know, when you're down and stuff, then you start feeling the fatigue way more than when you're up. You know, when you're up, you have the adrenaline and all that kind of stuff. But when you're down, you start feeling of excuses of men. I'm tired and all that kind of stuff.

You are mentally tired, physically tired. It's usually you feel the fatigue a lot more. But if you push through the fatigue, you're tired, then this is how you can actually go and push your limits back.

So, you know, if I can be a little bit inspiring for you guys when you're tempted to, like, give up and take the easy way out, try to think a little bit of, OK, so what am I going to learn from this if I give up now, what am I going to learn from this?

You're not going to learn anything. Just go for it.

The habit I am not proud of, and how I broke it

You know the gap between who you say you are and what you actually do. I lived in that gap for years. I told people to ship daily while I sat on projects for months. I coached discipline I was not practicing. Admitting that out loud was the fix.

The research backs the method. Harvard Business Review has covered how honest self-assessment beats raw motivation for changing behavior (hbr.org), and HubSpot's data on accountability inside teams points the same way (blog.hubspot.com).

So I built the accountability into a system, not a mood. I record it on the Freedom by Choice podcast and write the uncomfortable parts on my Substack. Say the thing you are ashamed of. It loses its power the second it is public.

Frequently Asked Questions

What lesson did you learn from feeling guilty about a business decision?

The lesson from feeling guilty about a past decision is that owning the mistake openly accelerates recovery while hiding it compounds the cost. I shared the regret with my audience because transparency rebuilds trust faster than any clever marketing campaign. Guilt is information. Acted on quickly, it becomes a permanent system improvement. Suppressed, it slowly poisons your decision making.

How do you handle regret over poor business decisions effectively?

Handle regret in three steps. Write down exactly what went wrong and what you would do differently. Take one corrective action within forty eight hours, even a small one. Forgive yourself and move on, because dwelling beyond a week produces zero benefit. Every operator has a list of regrets. The ones who keep growing process them quickly and move forward.

Why is it important to share your business mistakes publicly with your audience?

Sharing mistakes publicly builds trust because most operators only share wins, which makes their content forgettable and unrelatable. A transparent postmortem proves you are honest, reflective, and willing to improve. That signal compounds across thousands of readers and pays dividends in conversion later. Audiences buy from operators they trust. Selective transparency is a trust accelerator, not a risk.

What systems prevent feeling guilty about business mistakes in the future?

Three systems prevent future guilt. A weekly review where you list every decision made and the reasoning behind it. A clear written values document used as a filter before big choices. A trusted friend or peer you check with before any irreversible move. With those three, most decisions align with stated principles, which reduces the volume of regrettable moves.

About the Author

Martin Ebongue is the founder of martinebongue.com, an online business and lifestyle design blog focused on helping aspiring entrepreneurs build location-independent businesses. Since 2014, he has been creating and scaling online ventures across multiple niches, from digital products and affiliate marketing to SaaS and content platforms, while traveling the world. He shares the real-world strategies, tools, and systems that work, with a particular focus on AI-powered automation for solopreneurs. Follow him on YouTube, X (Twitter), and Instagram.

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