FBC – 384 – This is the fastest way to change your behaviour

Are you looking for a solution to change your habits and change your behaviour in order to achieve greater things?

Have you exhausted every option (meditation, yoga, hypnosis, audiobooks) and are still stuck in your old ways?

Well it's your lucky day. Today I will give you the key to rapid, spontaneous and long-lasting personal growth that won't require any of these options.

Really powerful stuff that works all the time without fail and can help you change your ways in minutes.

All the details can be found in today's episode

— Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/freedom-by-choice/support

I wanted to tell you a story about my buddy Douglas.

So I already told you about Douglas, the character that I absolutely love in The IT crowd. He is the absolute best.

Now, the reason why I like Douglas is because the guy is so sexist that that kind of person doesn't exist. So that's the reason why I like Douglas, because the guy's an idiot. And to me, I mean, I feel like there is no Douglas on this planet.

And then I started thinking I was like, oh, but what if there was a character who was a super racist in a show? I'm pretty sure I wouldn’t have liked the guy.  So, you know, that got me thinking about things in other fields of life and stuff. But here watching a series, I just didn't take that into consideration.

There are things that people will go through that you don't go through. So it's very hard for you to relate to it. Which brings me to my point of today's episode.

You know, first of all, Douglas, is a really funny guy, depending on who you are, obviously. But here's the thing. One thing that I notice is that the easiest and the fastest way to change your perception or the glasses through which you see life is actually to step in someone else's shoes, OK.

Because it is very, very hard to change your life, right? So if you want to change your life, that's one thing, you want to change in your life. You have to change how you're thinking, OK, it starts there. It’s only the mind-set and stuff. So you have to change the way you think.

This is the fastest way to change your behaviour.

But here's the problem. Changing the way you think and rewiring your brain is hard and it takes a lot of time because it takes a lot of time to forget. You're like forty years of something that is engraved in your brain. It is hard for you to forget about it and go over it.

So if you're trying to change your perception or paradigm, just using the mind-set, stuff like the logic and stuff, it is going to be very hard and it's going to take a lot of time because there are things that you have to unlearn, things that hurt you really bad in the past and things that work for you, that you absolutely love.

There are things that you can do that will actually help you get there quicker. So I think I've already told you that the way you see life, it really depends on where you're sitting. Just imagine you're looking at a six and someone on the other side is seeing a nine.

You're both right. OK, it's just that you're sitting on different in different positions. And we covered this in a in a different podcast. There are as many variations of the world as there are people on this planet, because everyone has their own opinion, their own life and their own perception of the world.

So what I'm saying is that words are just not enough, experiences are a lot faster and a lot more powerful. Because again, there are things you cannot understand until you live them.

So there are some things. For example, I remember these documentaries that people were doing in France about racism because, you know, some people have never actually been the victim of racism. They just have the impression that it just doesn't exist. And it's just a method that was ages ago. And that, you know, people don't think this way anymore and that kind of stuff.

And, well, they it's not that they're lying to themselves that they've never experienced it.

So I remember some of these some of these shows where there were some like, you know, French people, Caucasians who basically had to spend a week with a disguise of a black person. So they had makeup and all that kind of stuff, and they had to leave this life for a week.

And these people who were at the beginning that I know there is nothing there and stuff. After a week, they realized that, dude, you know, it was a lot different from what they could see because the words were not enough. When people are saying this, they were like, yeah, doesn't exist, but they did experience it.

So some things they were made to experience were, you know, they were looking for like an apartment, and the landlord’s answer was always no. They couldn't go in the same nightclubs they've been going to for years and years. They were followed by security every time they went into a store, they tried job interviews as well.

They tried all these things that people were telling them, look, you know, you don't necessarily understand this because, you know, you don't go through this, but I go through that stuff. Right.

And finally they did understand. These people, they were crying like after half a day, if not even a few hours. I mean they were crying like, oh, man, what am I going to do?

And then you start realizing that some people actually have to go through this every single day and they have been for years. OK, so it's the same thing.

But anyway, put yourself voluntarily in the shoes of other people. OK, so for example, if you're well-off and everything, just try to put yourself in the shoes of someone who has a shoestring budget. And needs to build a business or something. Then you will intentionally go and limit your budget.

So that will help you be creative. That's one thing. It will help you be very, very creative, but also you will have a lot more respect for how some people are able to get by with a with a budget, you know.

Why willpower keeps failing you

You have tried meditation, audiobooks, and sheer willpower, and you still snap back to the old behavior within a week. The problem is not your discipline. It is your method.

For years I white knuckled every change and lost every time. What finally worked was embarrassingly simple. I stopped trying to force new behavior and started changing the trigger that fired the old one. Move the phone out of the room, and the habit of grabbing it dies without a fight.

Lasting change is about design, not effort. You do not rise to your goals, you fall to your environment. Fix the environment and the behavior follows almost on its own.

The story I tell in this episode about my friend proves the point. He did not need more motivation. He needed one small change to the setup around him.

Behavioral science says the same thing. Harvard Business Review has covered how cues and environment beat raw motivation, and Zapier keeps showing that small systemized changes stick where big bursts of effort do not.

I break down the exact method on the podcast and in my Substack. Change the setup, not just the intention.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the fastest way to change your behaviour as an entrepreneur?

The fastest way to change behavior is to redesign your environment before relying on willpower. Remove the friction from the habit you want and add friction to the one you do not. Charge your phone in another room to read more. Pre log meals to eat better. Operators who change environment first see results in two weeks consistently.

How long does it actually take to change a habit or behaviour permanently?

Permanent behavior change takes between sixty six and ninety days for most habits according to behavioral science research from University College London. Simple habits like drinking water lock in faster around three weeks. Complex habits like daily writing take twelve weeks before they feel automatic. The key is consistency. Hitting the habit six days a week locks it in.

What behavioural change strategies actually work for solopreneurs in 2026?

Three behavior change strategies actually work. Habit stacking, where you anchor a new habit to an existing routine like morning coffee. Implementation intentions, where you specify exactly when and where the habit happens. Environment design, where you remove every obstacle between you and the action. Combine all three and the new habit installs in roughly thirty days.

Why do most attempts to change behaviour fail within the first month?

Most behavior change attempts fail because operators set targets that are too large, change too many habits at once, and rely on motivation. Start with one habit, make it embarrassingly small, and protect it for thirty days before adding another. Reading two pages daily beats trying one book per week. Small consistent wins compound. Ambitious plans collapse.

About the Author

Martin Ebongue is the founder of martinebongue.com, an online business and lifestyle design blog focused on helping aspiring entrepreneurs build location-independent businesses. Since 2014, he has been creating and scaling online ventures across multiple niches, from digital products and affiliate marketing to SaaS and content platforms, while traveling the world. He shares the real-world strategies, tools, and systems that work, with a particular focus on AI-powered automation for solopreneurs. Follow him on YouTube, X (Twitter), and Instagram.

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