FBC – 166 – I started living the day I understood this very simple concept

I started living the day I understood this very simple concept.

The realization that nobody cares about what you do can either destroy your motivation or set you free. In this episode of the Freedom By Choice podcast, I explain how reframing “nobody gives a damn” from a negative into a positive became the single most liberating mindset shift of my life, and how it can do the same for you.

Today, I want to tell you about a very simple concept that gave me my life back. Before understanding this, I can honestly say that life kind of sucked. But a simple mindset switch helped me turn things around and made me the happiest man in MY world.

The good news is that anybody can do it. You just need to know what that switch is…
All that and more in today's episode

So today, I wanted to talk to you about something that's actually very, very interesting and very funny how the exact same word, the same concept can have a whole different meaning depending on how you look at life. All right. So I'm talking about when nobody gives a damn. All right.

And this I mean, depending on how you look at things, it can be a blessing and it can be a curse. It can actually, like, ruin your morale and your determination and everything.

I have a bunch of friends who are basically bummed out and depressed because nobody gives a damn.

All right. So they basically feel like, you know, whatever they do is never going to be enough because, you know, people just don't care about them and stuff. And it basically ruins older all their dreams of stuff. You know, it's like, well, yeah, but why would I ever do this? Nobody gives a crap anyway. So, you know, why would you ever do it? Don't do it. Okay.

I started living the day I understood this very simple concept

If you think this way and don't try anything because you just assume that nobody gives a damn. Then you're never actually going to get anywhere you want to go. Okay. Because, you know, again, there are things that you assume as well.

You know, it could be that nobody gives a damn as well, but it could be that some people will give a damn. But you just assume that nobody will. So you don't try. And eventually, nobody does. Okay. And it's actually, you know, limiting everything you want to do.

My thing is this. If your desire is stronger, than what other people think, you'll just go out and do it. And it may be very harsh. I have some friends. They're like, oh, man, I need to quit smoking. And they'd never do. And they're like, well, but you don't understand this. It's hard. I'm like, well, yeah, I've never smoked.

I don't know how hard it how hard it is. But if you really wanted to quit smoking, if you really wanted it, you will stop it, OK? It might be hard. Nobody said it's easy.

There is this guy. Eric Thomas. That's his name. There is this motivational video where he says if you want to be successful as much as you want to breathe, and then this is when you're going to be successful. But when you think about it? You know, it makes sense. Okay.

So don't go to the extremes of like you're suffocating and you want to breathe. But this is a thing, you know, if there is something you really want. OK. Like, it's as important to you as the fact of breathing. Right. We have to breathe. It's something that we have to do. Otherwise we're dead. Right.

Key Insight: The phrase “nobody cares” is either your biggest obstacle or your greatest freedom. When you realize that most people are too busy with their own lives to judge you, you gain permission to take risks, make mistakes, and pursue exactly what you want without fear of criticism.

Key Insight: The happiest and most successful people are not those who have everyone's approval. They are the ones who stopped needing it. Once you stop seeking validation, every decision becomes clearer and every action becomes bolder.

So if there's something you want as bad as this, you will actually find the motivation and the strength to go out and do it. And this is a lot of things that I see in people that are like, oh, man, I need to quit smoking. But you don't really want to quit. You don't want to quit smoking. Otherwise you would.

You need to have a motivation that's higher and that's way more important than anything else. And you will go out there and do it and you will forget about it. Okay. So again, some people are like, oh, man, you're harsh. But no, just think about what you're passionate about.

Something you really want in your life. And you've never wanted anything more than this. Right. If there were obstacles or something, you would still put in the work, whatever it takes to get there.

And if you're trying to do something and you just can't, you're just making excuses. It means that you don't want it as bad as you think you do. All right.

About the Author

Martin Ebongue is the founder of martinebongue.com, an online business and lifestyle design blog focused on helping aspiring entrepreneurs build location-independent businesses. Since 2014, he has been creating and scaling online ventures across multiple niches, from digital products and affiliate marketing to SaaS and content platforms, while traveling the world. He shares the real-world strategies, tools, and systems that work, with a particular focus on AI-powered automation for solopreneurs. Follow him on YouTube, X (Twitter), and Instagram.

Related Reading

• FBC – 4 Part 1 – This is the story of my life: Success, Failure and The Hurdles.
• FBC – 3 – Escape your life of sacrifice! Don’t settle for less than your dream lifestyle.
• FBC – 8 – The Weirdest Challenge To Boost Your Confidence
• Other really cool tips that will give you an unfair advantage

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the simple concept that changes everything?

The concept is that nobody really cares about your failures or embarrassments as much as you think they do. When you internalize this truth, it stops being depressing and becomes liberating, because it means you are free to take risks without fear of judgment.

How do I stop caring about what other people think?

Start by recognizing that most people are focused on their own problems, not yours. Then test this by taking one small action you have been avoiding because of fear of judgment. You will quickly discover that the negative reaction you feared rarely materializes.

Why do some people find “nobody cares” depressing while others find it freeing?

It depends on your frame of reference. If you need external validation to feel motivated, “nobody cares” feels like rejection. If you shift your motivation to internal goals and personal growth, “nobody cares” becomes permission to live on your own terms.

Further reading

• my Substack archive: essays on the small mental shifts that change the trajectory of a one-person business.
• my story page: the moments where one decision compounded into the life I have now.
• Harvard Business Review on decision making: the research on how small framing changes drive radically different long term outcomes.
• HubSpot's productivity research: data on the daily practices that separate operators who ship from operators who stall.