FBC – 230 – Let’s tackle one of your biggest fears together

Let's tackle one of your biggest fears together.

Today, we are going to liberate you from one of the most limiting beliefs in your life. This is most definitely the first reason why most people never pursue their dreams or try new ventures that could dramatically change their lives.

Today, we are going to set you free and unleash your potential.

So one of the most common responses I get from people who are not entrepreneurs is that they are afraid of failing. I'm like, well, it can fail or it can succeed. But I try to look at things from the positive side. What if it works?

So one thing that is stopping you from trying new things and going towards the unknown is actually the very same thing that is keeping you safe. You just have to go over the hurdle. Just see it from the other side.

There is one thing only a handful of people do naturally. That's finding the root cause of a problem. Because the root cause is not visible and we only worry about what's visible. If you don't take time to dig deeper, you're fighting a pointless battle with something you can't solve.

So let's apply that to fear of failure. What is really going on here?

Let's say I asked you to put a basketball hoop in your backyard. And I tell you to try hitting a shot from half court. You will go try maybe hundreds of times and it's not going to be a problem for you.

Now same situation but I put 300 people to watch you while you do it. What happens then? At that point, you will be afraid to fail. When you were by yourself in your backyard, it wasn't a problem.

But if you look at it objectively, in both cases the odds are exactly the same. So what's the difference? The difference is not that you're afraid to fail. The difference is that you're afraid of what people are going to think if you fail. That's the real issue.

So now you understand the problem. It's not fear of failure. It's fear of judgment.

Let's tackle one of your biggest fears together

So one solution is to stop listening to people. Stop caring about what other people think. That's the best solution out there. But I have to be realistic. It's easier for some people than for others. It just requires training. You need to start working on it right now.

But there is an easy fix for this problem that you have today. Just operate in silence. You don't tell people what you're up to. If they're not aware that you're working on something, how would they know if you fail? They wouldn't know. So operate in silence. You start your own things. And don't tell anyone.

Not because they're here to sabotage you. But just because they might not understand what you're doing right now. And they may start projecting their fears onto you.

Your family and friends are basing their advice and actions on their own experiences and their own fears. And they're projecting that onto you. They're not doing it maliciously. They're trying to help. But what matters is what you want to do.

If you do this, trust me, this is how you free yourself. You're going to experience a glimpse of what freedom is. When you're free to do everything you want and you're not second guessing yourself, you'll really go for it!

Key Insights

Fear of failure is almost always fear of judgment. When no one is watching, most people will try anything. The real obstacle is the imaginary audience in your head.

Operating in silence is not about secrecy. It is about removing the judgment that prevents action. Build first. Announce later.

Your family and friends protect you through their fears, not yours. Learning to separate their projected anxiety from your own judgment is one of the most liberating skills an entrepreneur can develop.

The fear I had to sit with before any business worked

You do not beat the fear of failure by pretending it is small. I did not, and I have started four companies. The version that almost stopped me was not fear of losing money. It was fear of what people would say when I lost it in public. Here is what I learned the slow way. Most of the judgment you are bracing for is projected. The people you imagine laughing are busy with their own fear. Once I separated the real risk from the imagined audience, the actual decision got simple. I could survive the downside. I could not survive never trying. I have told this story straight on my story page and unpacked it further on the Freedom by Choice podcast, 578 episodes of people who felt exactly this and moved anyway. The research backs the reframe: Harvard Business Review on how founders process failure, and Stripe Atlas on the plain mechanics of starting despite it. Name the fear. Size the real downside. Then act before the imagined crowd gets a vote. That crowd was never watching as closely as you think.

Frequently Asked Questions About Overcoming Fear of Failure

What is the real root cause of fear of failure?

In most cases, fear of failure is actually fear of judgment. When people attempt something alone with no audience, they rarely hesitate. Add an audience and the hesitation becomes paralyzing. The underlying fear is not the failure itself but what others will think when they see you fail.

Why do people perform better when no one is watching?

Because the cognitive load of managing others' perceptions is removed. When you are alone, 100 percent of your mental energy goes to the task. When you are observed, a significant portion goes to monitoring how you appear. Remove the audience and performance naturally improves.

What does operating in silence mean and why does it work?

Operating in silence means building and working on something without announcing it publicly until it is ready. It works because it removes the projected fears and unsolicited opinions that people in your life would otherwise impose. You cannot fail publicly at something no one knows you are doing.

How do I stop caring what other people think?

It is a practice, not a switch. Start by recognizing that most people are not thinking about you nearly as much as you assume. They are too occupied with their own concerns. Then consciously practice taking one small action per week that feels vulnerable, building tolerance for perceived judgment over time.

Is fear of failure ever useful for an entrepreneur?

In small doses, yes. A healthy awareness of risk leads to better planning and preparation. But when fear prevents action entirely, it has crossed from useful caution into a liability. The goal is not to eliminate fear but to act despite it, especially when the upside significantly outweighs the downside.

About the Author

Martin Ebongue is the founder of martinebongue.com, an online business and lifestyle design blog focused on helping aspiring entrepreneurs build location-independent businesses. Since 2014, he has been creating and scaling online ventures across multiple niches, from digital products and affiliate marketing to SaaS and content platforms, while traveling the world. He shares the real-world strategies, tools, and systems that work, with a particular focus on AI-powered automation for solopreneurs. Follow him on YouTube, X (Twitter), and Instagram.

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